It doesn’t matter if you consult Webster, Wikipedia, or Urban Dictionary, the definition for hopeless romantic is similar. I proudly consider myself a hopeless romantic, in my opinion my heart is my biggest attribute as well as my most dangerous flaw. I love flowers and believe chivalry is far from dead. I’ve read every novel Nicholas Sparks has written. My idea of the perfect date is complex and a secret that no man has yet to achieve although some have come close. All of this is the movie definition of romance yet romance has significantly changed over the years. Yes, my boyfriend pays for most dinners (I’m too stubborn to let him pay for everything). Yes, he walks on the outside of the sidewalk and he always opens the car door. Romance today is so much more than those old school chivalrous gestures.
Life is messy, complicated, and so far from a fairytale that we’ve adopted our own variations of the definition. In my opinion It’s found in the simplicities of life. Grand gestures are nice but not abundant and can’t sustain a true relationship. Romance has to be acknowledged and appreciated or it will go unnoticed. Romance today is simply being together with honesty and intention.
Romance today is knowing the passcode to each other’s smart phone. It’s taking candid pictures of each other and selfies all over town to document your hundredth ice cream date or just the fact that you’re blessed to spend another day together. Long gone are the days of walking on a gentleman’s jacket over a mud puddle. Romance today is following her as she runs full speed ahead and slides into that mud puddle. Romance today is less about make up, hairspray, and fancy dresses. The best moments are with messy hair, wearing glasses and wearing his t-shirt while drinking morning coffee.
Relationship roles deviated from the stay at home mom and working father into a variety of potential possibilities. Romance is learning their dreams; embracing them and encouraging them to be achieved. Romance is found in the quiet moments where the deepest secrets are exposed. Today it seems that everyone has baggage. Everyone comes with scars, maybe even wounds in different stages of healing. These pains are part of our identity and shape us as individuals. When someone can love you while your damage is displayed is a love that many search for and never find. Romance today is accepting the imperfections and enjoying the chaos.
Romance today is falling asleep on the couch intertwined in each other’s arms. It’s killing the bugs in my apartment that are too high for me to reach. It’s starting my car and clearing the snow in the winter. Romance is singing at the top of our lungs on a road trip. It’s holding back my hair and rubbing your back when we’ve had too much to drink. It’s coming home from a long day of work to a beer or a glass of wine, a foot rub, and a genuine inquiry for the details of the day. It’s encouraging rest and relaxation when stress becomes overwhelming. Romance is standing together to confront whatever life presents. At the end of the day it’s about receiving that goodnight kiss, phone call or text that reassures you that you’re the last thought in their mind before they drift into dreams. I may be a hopeless romantic that obsesses over movie scenes but I’d gladly trade those movie moments for what I call romance today.